Did I have enough faith for my son to be healed?
We lost our 1 1/2 yr old in a drowning accident in our home. He spent 10 days on life support. They did numerous EEG's searching for any type of brain activity to no avail. We removed life support.
There have been definite times of struggle over whether I had enough faith. After the initial crying out to God, did I pray enough? Did I really believe he COULD heal him? Did the lady who came and prayed who saw him in a vision know something I didn't? Did I limit God?
At the time I read your book, I was really struggling with this because everywhere I turned people were singing God's praises because of something great he did in their familyhow he healed a little boy of a physical deformity (through surgery), how some premature twins had defied all doctors by how they had developed and leading mostly normal lives in good health. Then someone I knew had a drowning in their family and their son not only lived but you'd never know he drowned. All of this was kind of eating at me questioning my amount of faith and making me wish I could sing God's praises for the same reasons, not praising God because my son died. I read in your book how having faith wasn't believing that God would do whatever you wanted him to do but being willing to accept what He gives you. I knew when I read it that was true, and I thank you for reminding me of that, and helping me to return my focus to truth and not lies. It can still be a struggle, but I know that God is Good and I rest in that.
I don't think people who suggest faith was the key to various healings realize that they are basically saying that those of us who didn't get the healing must not have had faith. They haven't thought it through. And sometimes I think we've bought into a Hollywood picture of what it means to have faith that is more like superstition—refusing to do anything that would suggest we don't have faith God is going to heal.
Believing God CAN heal your child is not the same thing as believing God WILL heal your child.
Blessings to you —